Wednesday 22 December 2010
Monday 20 December 2010
Tuesday 23 November 2010
Thursday 7 October 2010
never say no to panda. Just don't
I changed my mind. This is the funniest thing ever. (Two blog posts in one evening, i'm gettin' keen)
missing missy
This is just about the funniest thing i've read. Ever.
http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html
http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html
Thursday 10 June 2010
michelin parenting
I can only hope that one day I will be this good a parent.
lady, please put your lard away and do something a little more conservative with your kids; Pretty sure using them for and as cock-magnets is illegal. Bake a cake or something
lady, please put your lard away and do something a little more conservative with your kids; Pretty sure using them for and as cock-magnets is illegal. Bake a cake or something
Monday 17 May 2010
Wednesday 24 March 2010
Monday 22 March 2010
Funniest car advert ever !
Superb advert for a car
Attention Teenage Drug Dealers/Low Life & Oxygen Thieves
If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.
A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.
Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.
Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.
To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?
I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.
For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.
If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.
The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.
For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?
Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.
Nuff said, innit.
Attention Teenage Drug Dealers/Low Life & Oxygen Thieves
If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.
A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.
Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.
Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.
To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?
I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.
For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.
If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.
The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.
For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?
Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.
Nuff said, innit.
Sunday 21 March 2010
Thursday 18 March 2010
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Want to stink of dirty pussy?
This is the youtube link to the advert for Vulva Original. A perfume created to smell like a vagina. Not a clean vagina either, no less than an "exercised" vagina. I actually can't quite see who the fuck will buy this but it's a right larf to watch the video and advertising plug !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DSTZbS6LvA
(bullshit 18+ video so sign in to see it)
And this is the website with it's cleverly constructed web address
http://www.smellmeand.com./gb/#/home/
oh aren't they witty!? Blush !
I don't need to pay 24 euros to know what an uncleaned vagina smells like. I use the gym alot. I use the shower alot too. Weirdest idea ever, europe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DSTZbS6LvA
(bullshit 18+ video so sign in to see it)
And this is the website with it's cleverly constructed web address
http://www.smellmeand.com./gb/#/home/
oh aren't they witty!? Blush !
I don't need to pay 24 euros to know what an uncleaned vagina smells like. I use the gym alot. I use the shower alot too. Weirdest idea ever, europe.
Saturday 13 March 2010
Wednesday 10 March 2010
court room kick off!
It's just like a bunch of Jeremy Kyl-er's. See, we're not so different to Americans. They have unruly folk too !
Tuesday 9 March 2010
bed of bridge rolls, almost
My bed is truely delicious. S'like i'm laying on a sheet of marshmallows. Not cheap mallows either. The good kind from Marks and Spencer.
Monday 8 March 2010
Saturday 6 March 2010
Hairy father, half-headed son
No, i'm not being poetic. Check out this photo of what seems like the most broken family ever! If guy's not hairy enough, his son goes one further and manages to be alive with half a head. World is, bizarre
Friday 5 March 2010
Thursday 4 March 2010
Wednesday 3 March 2010
Just ate some bloody soil
I thought it was a piece of chocolate! This is why people don't keep plants on their desk. Or why I at least shouldn't.
>:( This face means I am 'grangry', a combination of both the word 'angry' and the feeling 'grr' = grangry >:(
>:( This face means I am 'grangry', a combination of both the word 'angry' and the feeling 'grr' = grangry >:(
faux pas ahoy !
Along yesterdays peadophillic "theme", here's something to get your teeth stuck into. Or your dick i guess.
Tuesday 2 March 2010
Allah is a peado, apparently
Having a hilarious larf with a bunch of inbreds.It goes a bit like this:
Stuart Grant
shut up paki and fuck off and shave and shower you smell. you cunt.
Elisse Sophia Ahmet
I'm not from Pakistan you fucking idiot. God, literally what is wrong with you? Sorry i'm not part of the master race you're part of and graced with such great intelligence and manners.
Stuart Grant
don't care where your from your still a heathen swamp wallowing paki
Elisse Sophia Ahmet
again, you're not making sense. I'm english. What constitutes a "paki" stuart? Anyone who doesn't agree with you? Have i become a "paki" without even realising it?
Stuart Grant
doesn't amtter to me what religion, paki, indian , sikh scruffy muzzie benefit scrounging cunts your all the same you fuckers, Allah as a peadophile is not race or religion you just don't like this group because your scared w goiung to expose your sorry arses...
Elisse Sophia Ahmet
"you fuckers"? I've already said about a million times i'm an atheist. Get a memory please. Also "Allah as a peadophile is not race or religion" that's like saying Hovis isn't a bread. What do you class a debate about Allah if not under religion then? is it general arts and crafts or something? It's like you make an argument and then deny it and then throw some swear words in
Stuart Grant
don't care your just a paki loving paki...benchot pudhi
Also kudos to Andy Ryan
Freddy Aveitson
Andy go play with your clever dick comments elsewhere, no-one is interested in your views
Andy Ryan
Translation: I don't understand your words, so I feel threatened by them and will respond with aggression.
Stuart Grant
shut up paki and fuck off and shave and shower you smell. you cunt.
Elisse Sophia Ahmet
I'm not from Pakistan you fucking idiot. God, literally what is wrong with you? Sorry i'm not part of the master race you're part of and graced with such great intelligence and manners.
Stuart Grant
don't care where your from your still a heathen swamp wallowing paki
Elisse Sophia Ahmet
again, you're not making sense. I'm english. What constitutes a "paki" stuart? Anyone who doesn't agree with you? Have i become a "paki" without even realising it?
Stuart Grant
doesn't amtter to me what religion, paki, indian , sikh scruffy muzzie benefit scrounging cunts your all the same you fuckers, Allah as a peadophile is not race or religion you just don't like this group because your scared w goiung to expose your sorry arses...
Elisse Sophia Ahmet
"you fuckers"? I've already said about a million times i'm an atheist. Get a memory please. Also "Allah as a peadophile is not race or religion" that's like saying Hovis isn't a bread. What do you class a debate about Allah if not under religion then? is it general arts and crafts or something? It's like you make an argument and then deny it and then throw some swear words in
Stuart Grant
don't care your just a paki loving paki...benchot pudhi
Also kudos to Andy Ryan
Freddy Aveitson
Andy go play with your clever dick comments elsewhere, no-one is interested in your views
Andy Ryan
Translation: I don't understand your words, so I feel threatened by them and will respond with aggression.
Sunday 28 February 2010
Banana fetish?
Just eaten so much Lasagne I think I might explode. The bananas in this clip are exploding.
Friday 26 February 2010
Monday 15 February 2010
Friday 12 February 2010
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